a coherent collection of random statements regarding God, words and tunes

One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for the Fat Guy Who’s Actually Now Physically Capable of Leaping....
(or, Beardless in Cyberspace)

Perhaps trivial to everyone but me, but still....

A brief (for me, at least) history:

On my marriage day in 1985 I was 199. And danged sick. Byrnes and Neblung, who were two of my groomsmen, will testify to all of this despite their “wassled-ness.” But that’s a couple different pathetically funny stories for another time.

Anyway, by the fall of 1994 I was up to 298, and while I’m 6’3” one can only hide it so well. I’m pretty sure it was the moment someone mistook me for the brother of the rather slovenly overweight publisher of the newspaper I was working for at the time that I said, “OK, that does it....”

And yes, that was 14 years ago. It gets better, and worse, and better, and worse, and better, and worse, and so on, before it gets better (hopefully for good). Anyway, the first of many diets began.

And yet by fall 1996 I was back to 298. Which I think is when I went low-carb for the first time. Got down below 240 by late Spring of ’97, and since that was a “threshold” weight that allowed me more freedom, soon discovered I couldn’t handle said freedom. Ballooned back up to 270 or so before making another valiant attempt in 2000-2001. Got below 240 again. Same thing.

And so by Thanksgiving 2004 I was at 298. AGAIN. And yeah, a tad pissed. But as God as my witness, I’d never be po’(rky) again. Well, at least by that much anyway.

Got serious. Got down below 240. And kept going. By the time I moved to Colorado I was down to 229. And with no family out here for seven weeks, took it down to 222. And needless to say it was a LONG time since I’d seen that (probably ’91). Then I got the family, struggled to stay disciplined, but kept it in the 230s, even with going back-and-forth to Jersey the following year to deal with my mom’s estate. And then my brother-in-law moved in with us, my meal options got lousier, and I stopped trying again, even after he’d found his own place several months later. And so by July ’07 I was back to 264. Aaargh.

And so, once more into the breach. Only this time I 1) made a point of exercising very regularly and pushing it, and 2) making the increase in carbs more incremental and less dramatic (so I had time to figure out what I really could handle and make more sensible choices). Also, I swore that if I ever DID get down to 199 (the aforementioned marriage weight), I’d shave this danged beard off that I’ve had for the last 8 or so years. (Jessica says I grew it when she was 12, so I’ll take her word for it.)

In short: Today, it is accomplished, and a baby-faced 47-year-old types before you. Marion says she feels like a “cougar” (look it up if y’r not up on yr pop slang), but honestly, that works for me, too. 

In any case, I’m finally and officially un-overweight. I’d still like to drop another 10 or so pounds. I’ve been as low as 170 – once during the high/lowpoint of my Tension Envelopes speedfreak period, and again when I met Marion, that time enhanced by a week-long hospital stay after my first round of gastroenteritis (I haven’t had it since our honeymoon, though). Not quite Byrnesian in my elongated twigginess, but nonetheless pretty damned skinny. I don’t need to go THAT far. High 180s would be nice, though, especially with this extra skin I’d like to minimize (sorry for the graphic, but when y’r overweight for nearly 25 years – let alone by as much as 100 pounds –  it happens). Being in Colorado now, where the outdoors are actually enjoyable, will certainly help.

And who knows whether I'll keep the beard off? That's up to "the cougar."  Right now, I'm basking in the symbolism.

So for now: Congratulate me, boys (since as far as I know, that's all that visits here these days)....

Posted by: burninglight at 13:21 | link | comments (22)

Comments:

#1  14 October 2008 - 14:05

 

Yo Carl,

Let me be the first--Congrats!

Beards: I grow mine every winter
(it's cold out there in my barn/shop!) even tho it's totally
grey, has been since my late 20's.
It comes off on the opening day of
baseball season, the official start
of spring (for me). I also feel like I'm taking 10-15 years of my age when I shave it off.

Funny, I never thought of you as overweight, just a big guy with an
amazing appetite. Maybe I should forget about the McCobb's sauce I was planning to bring out next spring?

and last: I'll NEVER forget your wedding! "Dang sick" is something
of an understatement.

once again: congrats!

Rick

Anonymous

#2  14 October 2008 - 14:23

 

Thanks, Ricardo.

And I still have the appetite. I've just learned to lay off the bread and sweet stuff. But meatage -- yeah, baby. :D

By all means, bring the McCobb's sauce. I'll just have to do it 1 hot dog at a time. (Or brat -- they're more popular out here and a good hot dog is WAY more expensive)....

I like the baseball idea. Although I guess my timing's a bit off. And weather-wise, Colorado's not entirely dissimilar to NJ or even upstate NY, just more extreme and less humid. We're doing 70s during the day and 30s in the evening, with 10% humidity (which helps take the chill off, believe me).

And on that note: Go Phils/Rays!

burninglight

#3  15 October 2008 - 00:37

 

Bravo, Carl, bravo! That is great great news.

As a 40 year-old at 280, I cannot stress enough what your story does for me. It gives me some hope and determination that I really may not have had.

I say, keep aiming down, if that is what will help you keep it off.

Jim

Anonymous

#4  16 October 2008 - 09:17

 

good job, sir!!

i've finally lost enough that people are starting to notice, which has motivated me to work even harder....

larryl

#5  17 October 2008 - 02:22

 

Let me be the Third to congratulate you brother...and add an emphatic **AWESOME**.........& Blessings to your whole beautiful & mightily missed clan.

Anonymous

#6  17 October 2008 - 13:26

 

And who ARE you, "third"? Craig? Bob? I'm hearing a "long-lost bro from Jersey" vibe here.... :)

burninglight

#7  17 October 2008 - 13:26

 

Oh, and by the way, you're FOURTH. :D

burninglight

#8  17 October 2008 - 18:07

 

Congrats on the major acheivement!! Keep up the great work.....

22apples4ever

#9  17 October 2008 - 19:15

 

So one CAN get congrats from a girl, too, on this board. :) Thanks.

burninglight

#10  17 October 2008 - 23:00

 

there are girls here? o dear.

larryl

#11  18 October 2008 - 00:38

 

I wonder what inspired a name like "22apples4ever".

Jim

Anonymous

#12  20 October 2008 - 03:04

 

congrats!
i have lost 30 lbs or more in like a 4 month period 3 different times and always gained it back...
i'll do it again... one of these days...and hopefully keep it off this time...

beatmenace

#13  20 October 2008 - 14:35

 

Yes, there is a girl that actually enjoys reading your rants between all of you - it is entertaining to read all different points of view. btw jim...my name...its a long story :-)

22apples4ever

#14  20 October 2008 - 15:43

 

Well, we're glad to have you. And amused that y'r amused. :)

burninglight

#15  21 October 2008 - 00:53

 

Yo, Carl

Here's to keeping it off, till the end of the trail...


Todd

Anonymous

#16  21 October 2008 - 15:00

 

Carl, you missed my post on punks blog -- can I have your offical stance on the whole presidential front? I asked all of you guys to share your thoughts -- a sort of challenge to educate somone who is open to ideas....Jim wasted NO time in sharing his opinion ((what a surprise huh??)) and larryl signed in on the deal, but not you or tim....I gave them an alotment of two paragraphs to explaine to me why I should or should not vote for someone....considering me moderatly educated in the whole political arena- but still considering all the options.

22apples4ever

#17  21 October 2008 - 21:35

 

Haven't really missed it, but as mentioned elsewhere am crazy busy. So rather than start over, I'm just gonna refer you here -- http://punkrockblues.motime.com/post/728240#comment -- and say read up through #13, because the conversation degenerates (as it always does) immediately thereafter.

Short version: Less government is better -- both here AND around the world. One party totally disdains that idea, and the other has only been paying it lip service for the last 30+ years.

burninglight

#18  21 October 2008 - 21:44

 

Which is also to say: Larry has been more eloquent, and more available, in expressing my opinions. :D

burninglight

#19  22 October 2008 - 11:58

 

And when Byrnes can make that same assertion, we know we're in trouble. :-b

Jim

Anonymous

#20  05 November 2008 - 18:27

 

So, ...

your strategy was:

1) exercise very regularly, and push it.
2) incrementally decrease the carbs.

What was your approach to portions, as well as to what you would eat and not eat, when you were losing weight?

Jim

Anonymous

#21  05 November 2008 - 18:43

 

Ah, the old "ease him back in with a harmless discussion, then BEAT HIM REPEATEDLY ONCE YOU'VE GOT HIS ATTENTION!!!!!" strategy.... :PPPP

OK, I'll bite. :)

#1 is correct. You've got #2 backwards, though -- start more austerely (where I started -- and where you'd probably need to start if y'r doing it my way -- is 30 carbs/day), then gradually INCREASE.

80-100/day, depending on exercise, would be around maintenance level, so once I went from obese to overweight :) I based it on how close I was to "goal weight." I.e. 225 = 25 pounds overweight = 100-25 = 75 carbs/day. Make sense?

Portions were not a biggie. Eat pretty much as much meat/eggs/etc. as you want, as long as you're keeping within yr carbs. The portions kind of take care of themselves at a certain point. A good carb chart can be found here: http://www.monkeymatters.com/charts/simple_index.htm

And yes, I'm pretty depressed/disgusted about yesterday, too (although it's really been the culmination of the last several months), so let's let it go at that.

No. Seriously. Let it go at that.

burninglight

#22  06 November 2008 - 01:06

 

"Ah, the old 'ease him back in with a harmless discussion, then BEAT HIM REPEATEDLY ONCE YOU'VE GOT HIS ATTENTION!!!!!' strategy.... "

I have no idea what honest questions have to do with beating anyone repeatedly.

"OK, I'll bite."

Yes, you usually do when you have reasonable answers. :-b

"#1 is correct. You've got #2 backwards, though -- start more austerely (where I started -- and where you'd probably need to start if y'r doing it my way -- is 30 carbs/day), then gradually INCREASE.

80-100/day, depending on exercise, would be around maintenance level, so once I went from obese to overweight :) I based it on how close I was to goal weight. I.e. 225 = 25 pounds overweight = 100-25 = 75 carbs/day. Make sense?"

OK, so since I'm 280, and and 80 pound overweight, then I should be looking at 100-80=20 carbas a day for right now, correct?

"Portions were not a biggie. Eat pretty much as much meat/eggs/etc. as you want, as long as you're keeping within yr carbs. The portions kind of take care of themselves at a certain point."

I was hoping you would say something along those lines.

"A good carb chart can be found here: http://www.monkeymatters.com/charts/simple_index.htm"

OK, thanks; looks straightforward. Got it saved to Favorites.

"And yes, I'm pretty depressed/disgusted about yesterday, too (although it's really been the culmination of the last several months), so let's let it go at that."

I'm glad it happened, because God works all things for good. It will server to make the church holier, and conservatives more conservative.

"No. Seriously. Let it go at that."

OK, except to say that you 3rd party guys will ALWAYS be discontented, becasue your isolationsit views are simplistic and often very mis-informed, and few conservatives will ever hold to them.

Jim

LDVoyager

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